I’ve been in bed the past few days. In bed, in pain, in frustration. As I’ve shared with you before, I have inflammatory arthritis, an auto-immune disorder like rheumatoid arthritis. It flares up suddenly, disrupting my life with pain through my limbs, havoc within my digestive system, eruptions across my skin, and fatigue burdening my body.
burdening my family
Because this type-A, people-pleasing, schedule-making, goal-breaking gal cannot so much as lift a finger when in the throes of an arthritis flare-up. No cooking, no cleaning, no writing, no teaching.
Without Me, ye can do nothing.
It is the Spirit’s oft-repeated refrain these past two years, as in tears I look to the heavens and cry …
Why?
Why can’t I hold a book to read to my children?
Why can’t I play the piano?
Why can’t I eat human food (I am so weak and ungrateful, see my flesh)?
Why can’t I walk through the grocery store?
Why can’t I … Why, why, why?
Without Me, ye can do nothing.
Yesterday I was sitting in my bed, propped up with some pillows, feeling sorry for myself. My oldest son was going over his preAlgebra at the foot of the bed. Ever try to patiently correct 30+ math problems while in excruciating pain? (why, why, why?)
The doorbell rang, and Son gratefully ran out of the room to see who was at the door. He returned in a flash with a package in his hands. “It’s for you.”
I ripped it open, and my friend’s new book fell into my lap.While Son re-worked problem #19 for the 13th time, I glanced inside the volume.
I’m not the only parent who has rough homeschooling moments!
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Humility is born out of our utter dependence on and need for God. In the absence of humility, pride gets a foothold. We homeschool out of our own wisdom and abilities rather than in God’s strength for his glory. Homeschooling is about serving the Lord and our families in humility. Only a heart that is emptied of self can be filled by the Master and poured out in His service.
“Homeschooling is constantly dying to self, a friend commented. I haven’t come across a more eloquent, succinct description of homeschooling.
– Anita Mellott
School is Where the Home Is: 180 Devotions for Parents
I’m not the only mother homeschooling through trials. Most of my friends are, too: health trials, financial trials, marital trials, child rearing trials, extended family trials, snake trials, moving trials, private trials. We have the opportunity for real discipleship here, my friends. God is molding us, the parent, right before our children’s eyes, and we, in turn, can point our children toward Him.
Lea Ann,
I so understand those questions since I’m in a similar situation. I’m praying for grace and healing for you during this time. So glad “School Is Where the Home Is” is an encouragement. Thank you for posting about it. May Jehovah Rophe’s healing power encompass you, and Jehovah Shalom’s peace envelop you today.
LeaAnn, I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time right now. Praying for you.
Praying you are feeling better soon!
Thank you for posting this. I feel like I am going through a trial and a half right now! God is constantly reminding me to rely on him and not my own weak flesh. I pray you are feeling better.
I am so sorry to hear of your pain. I have many silent, and not so silent days of fibromyalgia episodes. Homeschooling is tough in these circumstances. Thanks for your transparancy. May you be blessed!
Hi, Christa, I’m a fibro mommy, too. Mine has been greatly improved over the last five years, but this last week has been a reminder that it’s there. Hang in there!
WOW! “Homeschooling is constantly dying to self, a friend commented. I haven’t come across a more eloquent, succinct description of homeschooling.” THIS IS SO TRUE, and I’m just a newbie! I’m hoping you’re going to review this book for us…
I know this may have been a hard post to write, but it is much needed. Other moms need to know they’re not alone in their struggles, and they need the reminder that, without God, we can do nothing. Thank you for sharing.
I am going to share more about Anita’s book with you soon. I’ve been tweeting quotes from it while I was in bed. You can get it for yourself, in the meantime, right here: http://www.judsonpress.com/product.cfm?product_id=15451.